Ebay - Fleabay - cardboard box

Ok nothing much to say here other than whoooooohoooo, I'm flogging leather n rubber. Check it out peeps, the infamous footwear extraordinaire. And a space soon to exist under the stairs.

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/130661700652?ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT&_trksid=p3984.m1555.l2649#ht_991wt_1206

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/130661689502?ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT&_trksid=p3984.m1555.l2649#ht_991wt_1206

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/130661686916?ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT&_trksid=p3984.m1555.l2649#ht_1093wt_1206

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/130661684336?ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT&_trksid=p3984.m1555.l2649#ht_1511wt_1206

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/130661680136?ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT&_trksid=p3984.m1555.l2649#ht_1322wt_1206

The time has come

I've been holding out for as long as I could but it's six months since the cryo and there's still an equal amount of discomfort in my left foot and my wallet from paying for the surgery. So it's time. Time to start off loading the herd.
They've been sat there under the stairs longer than Harry Potter; and now they need to go. Not only are they a constant reminder that I haven't been running since April 2009 but the woodlice have set up an 'Occupy' site behind the boxes. I'm not sure what tyranny I've imposed upon them but they're unhappy, something about giving a 'Bonus' to the dog. I've tried to explain it's the name of a biscuit but they're not having it.

The shoes are going on ebay and they're going on this week. It's going to be a mammoth task getting a large number of items up there, plus I'll have to set aside a day to take them to the Post Office to send them. It's a village Postie, they don't allow more than 10 items at a time. I know, I know, 'how quaint'...

So here's a bit of a turn up for the books on this blog, a pair of flats. I'm saying au revoir to a pair of black Ravel flats with a cute buckle across the front. And yes, smart arses, I did buy them from the children's section. To be fair, they're in great condition and they'd be perfect except for one thing, they're a size 2.5 and I'm a 3 or in European terms these are 35 and I'm 35.5. It's not a lot but trust me in this instance size really does matter.

Because I have no bumpy bit at the back of my heel I struggle to keep flats on, and slingbacks daaaahling, they're a bitch. So I thought in my infinite wisdom that if I bought a pair of flats that were a bit on the small side I'd keep them on through sheer force, almost like creating a vacuum with the shoe.

Alas no. Epic fail of epic proportions riding on the back of an unfathomably large elephant called Thrud, on steroids.

What happened was my toes were squashed and my heel was rubbed raw. Yeah lesson learned. On me flats need straps. Slingbacks? Well slingbacks, just no. Small feet, wide like a hobbit with no ability to keep shoes on. Am I just a mutant?

Perhaps my X-Man name should be Stub Foot. I'd have no particularly cool powers except crap feet, not much of a pull I grant you but the franchise is being milked for all it's worth, they might get around to my character eventually.

Destroyed, Wicked and Bad

OK I admit it, I wore heels on Monday and took 900mg of gabapentin and now have really bad rebound pain. Was it worth it? You bet your L’Oreal life on it. Summer dress, open toed heels, not big heels but heels nevertheless. For once, just once, I didn’t feel dumpy in flats. I quite like flats but if I wear them with a dress, I look about 3’6” and 250lbs. See how I side swerved the metric system for my American readers?

Actually, I never really got to grips with the metric system, it was just being introduced in the UK when I was at school and to be fair the teachers didn’t have a Scooby, so we ended up not knowing what an inch or a centimetre was. Anyway, thankfully I know how much a pint is and what a four-inch heel looks like, what more do you need?

I could make some smutty gag about four inches and needing more than that but moving on…..

Remember me mentioning the Destroy wedges that were ‘well fierce’? Well check them out and behold the fierceness. Or is that ferocity? I bought these in 1996 at the start of my musical career and they accompanied me on my first trip to Ibiza in 97, the year I handed out a whole bunch of 12” vinyls and a record label was born. Aaaaaah, good times.

Being what can only be described as a ‘short arse’ the height that these shoes gave me was ‘visa card’ priceless. I had these slinky dark blue trousers, not quite jeans but with a substantial flare that I wore with these shoes. As I remember I wore them to death; you know how sometimes material gets a sheen to it after it’s been worn and washed too many times? Yeah well these got to that stage. I was a UK size ‘8’ back in those days, when 8 really meant something and wasn’t just a number plucked out of thin air by Gap which bears no resemblance to a size 8 in Topshop or Wallis, they’re all completely different arbitrary sizes. Or is it just me that thinks that? Answers on a postcard please.

You probably wouldn’t think so to look at these shoes but I could fair bust out a few moves on the dance floor wearing them and I never once twisted my ankle. To be brutally honest though they were so huge and cumbersome that gravity had planted them firmly on the floor before I’d even had the intention to do so. I felt like I was on the cutting edge of fashion in these shoes, they were bad, funky and wicked and lots of other words we used in the late 90s to elaborate upon something's brilliance. I’m not sure if they’ve reached vintage status yet. I read somewhere that an item has to be at least 20 years old to reach vintage status but I’ve also seen ebayers advertising something from three years ago as vintage. Divvies.

Prada yes, painfree no.

Let’s get this straight, I’m not a label whore, I don’t buy into brands just because they’re big names or expensive, in fact I’m actually a late adopter with most things in life. By the time naval piercings were seen on the ‘not so hot’ lists in magazines I decided to get mine done. By the time everyone started to swerve leggings, I went out and bought some, after spending about a year spouting about ‘not buying a fashion item because I remembered it from the first time around’. 'Jelly' shoes and bags get thee behind me, you live in the 80s not the now.

No, I don’t just buy things because there’s a name attached or a kudos associated with them. So ‘back in the day’ when my friends were swanning around airports dragging their overly badged Prada luggage behind them, I wasn’t moved in the slightest and stuck with my trusty Samsonite.

And then it happened. As an apology for keeping my husband in Russia for longer than anticipated in order to do more DJ gigs, a promoter who we shall just call ‘D’, bought me a Prada purse. To be fair just like any other purse, it carried coins, notes and cards, it didn’t have any super powers and other than the little red ‘Prada’ label, it just looked like a nice purse. A nice purse that oozed quality and class and said 'Prada' on it, yeah baby! I bought in to that little slice of exclusivity for a while and I loved that purse for a good number of years until it, just like all other purses that enter your life, one day it passed away.

Its ability to carry coins, notes and cards ceased and suddenly it stopped being a purse, suddenly it became a grubby piece of leather with a zip and an expensive red tag. Just as candles that never burn are only lumps of wax with a string through the middle, when something does not perform the task for which it was acquired, it’s a cuckold in your life and it needs to move on. Its presence only stops you from allowing other good things in to the space that is currently occupied, you become rooted in its past and not your present.

My love affair with the purse ended but I remembered the pleasure it gave me so when these Prada shoes became available on ebay I jumped at paying a fraction of the original cost and allowed them into my wardrobe and my heart, a space they have occupied for some time. They are a lovely shoe with an exaggerated buckle that hangs cheekily to the front of the foot, the all important pointy toe and teeny heel meant these shoes accompanied me to work on a number of occasions, though them being brown meant I had to go out and buy a whole new outfit to match. Go on be honest how many of you have bought clothes to match your ‘must have’ shoes? No, really? I should get my mom reading these blogs then I know I wouldn’t be alone.

With some sadness I have decided that these shoes are going back from whence they came, to the great ebay in the sky. I tried them on a few days ago when I took them out of the wardrobe for their photoshoot and the ever present throb and burn in the left foot was turned up to ‘11’ like Nigel Tufnel’s* Marshall stack. ‘That’s one louder, innit?’

Prada yes, painfree no. I think I'll stick to my trusty Merrels, where the strap line could be ‘For the hobbit in you’ or ‘For when your foot is as wide as it is long’.

Sigh......


*Spinal Tap guitarist.

Touching the Void

There is only one problem with going for the cryo again; I have to pay for it again. So here’s where the shoes come in. I’ve decided to sell my herd to pay for the procedure. You might not think selling shoes is a good idea but trust me, ebay is a constant conveyor belt of high quality, used shoes. I should know, I bought a once worn pair of £750 Jimmy Choo boots for a fraction of their retail value a few years ago. Brown, pointy, 3 inch heel…..hmmmmmmmm….sorry I digress.

I started to drag all the shoes boxes out and suddenly I realised that all of these shoes had been places with me, they had been to a party, a wedding, a funeral, a holiday; they were part of my history, my shoes told my story. They told me about the person I’d wanted to be and the persona I’d presented to others, they reminded me of good times and bad. When I got drunk and promised ‘never again’, when I danced all night in Ibiza until I couldn’t feel my feet any more, or the night I needed a ‘piggy-back’ to the car park because my feet hurt so much in those purple suede platforms. All in all I had almost 30 pairs of shoes and boots to move on either through sales or charity. I had become a shoe horder (some may say, 'herder'). Next stop 'A Life of Grime'.

And the weird thing, I’m actually looking forward to parting company with them because it means I can get the cryo and focus on running next year’s London Marathon, which is my ultimate goal. Oh yeah and I get some space back in my house. If you’ve visited me recently you may have noticed the space under my stairs is no longer a space, it’s crammed full of boxes. I would like to see the void again.